Archive | September, 2011

Playbook Pages {the NonDate}

16 Sep

Me: “Oh, hi… I’m meeting someone here.”
Hostess: “Oh, okay… Do you want to look at the bar?”
Oh shit. I have no idea what this guy looks like…
Me: “Um I better text him really quick.”
Of course she think I’m on a blind date now…
ARE YOU HERE?
YEP OUTSIDE
WEARING?
PLAID SHIRT
Hmmm plaid shirt…plaid shirt…
Me: “I guess he’s outside. Thanks!”
WITH MY HEAD STUCK IN MY PHONE TALKING TO YOU
Ha! Funny guy huh? Plaid shirt…plaid… Oh! Oh crap. He IS cute in real life.

As a favor to my sister’s boyfriend, I had agreed to let his friend crash on my couch for a night or two while in for an interview. In an effort not to have a stranger stay on my couch, I had agreed to meet this friend for a drink the night “crashing” was to take place.

Now, to be honest, I wasn’t totally caught-off guard by the hotness. In another attempt to make this stranger not a stranger we had become friends on Facebook. I am I VERY thorough FB stalker, so I already thought that he had cute potential.

Ok fine. I had already told my roommate that I wanted to do him… IF he ended up being as cute as his FB implied.

And boy, oh boy, was he ever.

We both ordered drinks and decided to share nachos. We chatted about the city and about our jobs. We talked about Oregon {we’re both from there}: how much I missed it, how much he wouldn’t. We talked about school and living in random cities, making friends, going out. We talked about our families and our backgrounds, about working during college and working after college. We talked about music and raves, drugs and Ken Kesey. And we laughed. We laughed a lot, actually.

his and hers...

At one point we stumbled upon the inevitable couple/dating talk. Somehow we got on the topic of fighting or fighting in public and the conversation went something like this:
me: Yeah, it’s always awkward when there is that couple at the table who is clearly fighting.
Him: something something something something
me: or even worse when YOU are in the couple that is fighting….
Him: yeah and you have to act like nothing is really wrong but when you get home it all comes out.
Me: yeah at least it all comes out eventually.
Him: and then you have crazy hate sex.
Me: {trying to fight the excitement in my voice and keep it from my face} yes!
Him: and then after I want to just watch a movie and love you all night.
Me: {more excitement} Definitely.

Ummm… Did he just describe my perfect date?

Him: Can you imagine how much hate sex Barack and Michelle have?
Me: {laughing uncontrollably}
Him: I’m serious! She’s like, “stop giving me that dumb grin!”
Me: and he’s like, “stop walking away from me woman!”
Him: The Secret Service guys probably have to hear so much of the sex because they are standing outside of the door.
Me: {more uncontrollable laughter}
Him: I’m serious! They should write a book.
End Scene.

By the end of the non-date I was starting to wish it was a real date. If it HAD been a first date, it would’ve been a good one. We hailed cabs and made plans to meet-up the next day so that he could “crash.” But as I rode away with that dopey first-date grin on my face, I couldn’t help but hope that something more would maybe come out of my future time with NonDate.

WorkCrush {another update}

14 Sep

Well, he was gone for a whole weekend and I didn’t miss him. I thought about him… But miss? Not really.

I guess that gives me my answer.

I’m not sure why I’m so reluctant to admit that I don’t want to be with this guy?

That’s all I’ve got for now… my head is too full.

Playbook Pages {saying goodbye}

12 Sep

Thanks again for inviting me over last night. I’m really happy I got to see you. But I’ve been thinking that maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore. I just have a lot on my mind right now and don’t really have enough time to dedicate to someone else. It’s just not fair to you. I’m trying to juggle too much, and unfortunately it’s affecting the way I act toward you. Maybe we can pick things up sometime down the road, but for now I think I’m just going through too much. I’m sorry.

I always keep a copy of this text as a draft in the notes section of my phone. You never know when you may have to get rid of someone. This was actually the text I sent to 30-Something a few hours after leaving his immaculate apartment for the last time. When I sent it to 30-something I truly meant everything I had typed. Now I am contemplating sending it to WorkCrush, and as I ponder, I realize the words are more true now than they even were before.

But am I really ready to get rid of WorkCrush? As a general rule, I tend to have the relationship attention span of a butterfly: I see something fun/great/sexy, enjoy myself, get bored and then happily flit away. Unfortunately, because of the reasons listed in the text {I’m busy; I’m tired; my stress-level has been sky-high}, I currently have the attention span of a hornet: I’m still attracted to similar things, but when I get bored instead of flitting away happily I get angry… and sting.

Right now I’m currently on a very bumpy roller-coaster with WorkCrush. One minute I really like him and want to kiss him atop his cute little shaved head, and then next I roll my eyes and want to run away because I find him so obnoxious. And please understand that when I say “one minute and then the next” I’m really talking minute-to-minute here. I feel like a legitimate crazy person because I can’t get my head clear about this. I’m bumbling around my love-life like a confused homeless person. Not cute.

Here’s a little of the inner dialogue for your reading pleasure: He’s a genuinely sweet person, so I should want to be with him, right? But sweet people shouldn’t have to put-up with bitchy, crazy people, right? But I deserve a nice guy too, right? But nice isn’t really worth it if it comes along with extreme annoyances, right? UGH. What to do… what to do… buzz buzz… buzz buzz.

ToDo List: Sexy DMV Guy

12 Sep

Sexy DMV Guy you have NO idea what my day has been like.

First I missed my bus stop so I had to backtrack on foot… in QUEENS! Then I got lost. And it was hot. And I was sweating. And when I FINALLY found the DMV, my make-up had melted off of my face. And the guy who helped me at the DMV yelled at me.

But when I saw you, Sexy DMV Guy, none of that really mattered anymore. I haven’t seen arms like that {in person} in a while… maybe ever. Even with your silly, half-on hat, I find you sexy. But the sexiest thing about you {other than your arms, shoulders, face, general size and general being} is your manners; as you introduce yourself to your friend’s wife, you say, “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” and shake her hand. When you repeat this with his daughter, I pretty much could’ve fainted from witnessing the adorableness.

Clearly, Sexy DMV Guy, I would like to do you.

ToDo List: dorky business man guy

8 Sep

Oh dorky business man guy. There is something about you that is quite endearing. Maybe it’s the fact that your sleeves are rolled up, letting your forearms soak up the sun; maybe it’s your clean-cut hair and shiny dress shoes; maybe it’s the way you keep squinting in the sun, but still manage to turn and make eye contact with me; or the fact that stuff keeps falling out of your sandwich; orĀ  that you are sitting in a park by a waterfall with your coworker; or that you keep eye fucking me; or maybe it’s just because the sun is out.

Either way, keep doing your thing, dorky business man guy! Thanks for the eye contact even though I look a mess. Thanks for looking back when you were walking away.

Overall, dorky business man guy, I’d like to do you… in all of your sunny, silly glory.

This Morning: a first

8 Sep

{**This post was written a few weeks ago. Updates to come SOON!}

There are so many firsts when you start hanging out with someone… The first time you go out, the first one you kiss, the first time you guys hold hands, finish each other’s sentences, stay up talking and laughing. The first time you have sex, the first time you have amazing sex…

Then there’s the first time things don’t feel perfect. The first time you kind of get annoyed with each other. The first time you don’t sleep totally comfortable through the night next to each other. The first time you have not-so mind-blowing sex.

Now I have to throw a warning out there that when I really like someone, I tend to fall super hard, super fast. So these kind of nights usually throw me off pretty hard. They usually rock my confidence in the relationship and usually make me give up. I burn out pretty quickly.

So, now I’m at that crossroads with WorkCrush. This is always when I ignore my own best advice–to just go with the flow, don’t think about it and let it happen–by over thinking and ultimately sabotaging whatever good things we may have had going. Fickle lady indeed.

For instance yesterday I was imagining dancing at our wedding and now I’m pondering how hard it would be to avoid talking to him ever again. Yes. I’m crazy. There’s a reason it’s in the title of the blog, folks.

I’m going to ride the wave and see what happens. Maybe this will be the first time I actually listen to my own advice!