This Morning {NOT the morning after…yet}

8 Aug

I’m so anxious right now. I’m sitting at my desk and my eyes are darting around. I can’t focus on the TV in front of me or the news wires flashing in the corner of my computer screen. All I can think about is getting off of work and seeing my big Fireman.

I don’t even think I was this anxious for the end of my day when I had an actual boyfriend. The worst part is that I still don’t even know if anything is going to happen! Thus, the nervousness. I will literally be rushing home to sit and become even more anxious… I’ll just be next to him though, so maybe it will feel worth it.

I can’t believe I, of all people, am nervous to make a move on someone. But this certainly wasn’t the situation I saw myself dealing with.

I HATE curveballs, and us not sleeping together (or even sleeping in the same ROOM, for that matter) on his first night in town was definitely a curveball.  Of course my roommate had to move out right before he got here– and leave her bed! Now, I’m determined to make it happen tonight. Even if I have to climb into my roommate’s old bed, too. Lol.

The funny thing is, I know for a fact that he’s a total man-whore at home, and he knows I’m a total woman-whore here, so there shouldn’t be any problem. There shouldn’t even be a debate. Or time for a second-thought… Right?

UGH. Why am I even thinking about this so much? It’s not a big deal. It’s just sex… Right?

Maybe it’s not just sex with him, and that’s the problem. I never expected my feelings to be this strong for him again–maybe even stronger than they’ve ever been.

BLEAHH! Whatever. I’m doing it tonight. And by “it,” let’s be clear here… I mean him.


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