NiceGuy complex…

5 Aug

We all know a genuinely nice guy who has been dumped by a genuinely bitchy girl. But we all probably also know a nice guy who has been dumped by a genuinely nice girl. Either way, the nice guy always claims he was dumped for being “too nice.”

According to the nice guy, he was dumped because he was too much of a gentleman, or because he didn’t want to take advantage of her, or because refused to treat her like an object or she wanted an ass-hole. Having lots of friends who are nice people, these are phrases I’ve heard often. But after hearing these stories enough times, one has to wonder: What if you ARE a genuinely nice guy, but you actually got dumped for sucking at something else in life that was really important to the other person? Nice guys can have flaws too…

For instance, maybe you’re great at holding doors and buying flowers but you suck at fixing leaky pipes or putting up shelves. Well, sure, that’s not everything in the world, but what if the girl’s grandpa was a carpenter so being handy is very important to her? You suck at being handy, so she dumps you. You’re still a very nice guy, but that’s not the reason you got dumped.

For someone like me, being good at a lot of things could be considered turn-ons to me. Fix a pipe or hang some level shelves? Great. Put up a sheet of drywall? Sexy. Writing, playing or singing me music while putting up the drywall? Even better. But some things, to me, are just crucial–I will not compromise. Being good in bed is one of these things.

Now people have given me their various judgments for my having no qualms with this requirement. They’ve called me a slut, or a whore, or a nympho, and some of them have probably really felt that way. But if you ask me, I call it being honest.

If you have a low-sex drive, but you’re the nicest guy in the world, I will dump you. Well, sex isn’t everything to me, you might say in your sweet, genuinely nice guy tone of voice with your sweet, genuinely nice guy smile. Well, darling nice guy, though it’s not everything, it’s still a pretty big something to me. Dumped.

If your sexual style doesn’t match mine, but you’re the nicest guy in the world, I will dump you. I’ll try anything you want! You’ll say in your sweet, genuinely nice guy tone of voice with your sweet, genuinely nice guy smile. Sorry, dearest, but giving someone a play-by-play instruction manual just doesn’t do it for me. Dumped.

So, nice guys… here’s my two-cents: You’ve ridden the PoorNiceGuy Train for a while now. Get off of the train. Please remember that 1) nobody likes a victim and 2) everybody has flaws… and that’s OK. But to some people, there is a lot more to life {and a relationship} than being nice.

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One Response to “NiceGuy complex…”

  1. Just Some Dude August 5, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    you made some good points but more often than not if he KNOWS that being too nice is his weakness and you haven’t told him WHY its ending he’s going to assume that it’s because of his weakness…being too nice

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