I Need to Stop Hanging Out with Guys Who Suck in Bed {part deux}

1 Aug

I’ve realized that I only the get the urge to go running on weeks when I’ve had bad sex.

I’m lying in bed after a very bizarre, half-upside-down 69-ish thing with just the 6 {…or maybe the 9?} and about 42-seconds of the kind of slow, boring sex that makes me want to pick up a magazine. All I can think, while listening to his deep, relaxed breathing next to me, is that I wish I had my running shoes.

Every muscle in my body is antsy. I want to run–hard. I want to run until I’m totally out of breath, until every muscle feels tense and on-fire. I want to run until my body feels so pushed to the limit that the only option is to be pulled into a melting puddle of jellied-muscles. Either that, or explode.

But no. I don’t have my running shoes. Instead, I’m lying in bed, wanting to scream or jump up and down or jump through the glass of the panoramic window or scale a building or go to a boxing class. ANYTHING to relieve this aggression.

I really need to stop hanging out with people who suck in bed.

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3 Responses to “I Need to Stop Hanging Out with Guys Who Suck in Bed {part deux}”

  1. Arius August 1, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    Men who embarrass themselves in bed possess a commonality: they don’t like women! That’s not to go into the direction of gayness; however, most men just want a woman based on what she can do for him and not vice versa.

    You need a guy who appreciates the totality of a woman’s physicality; its rare, but we are out here 😉

  2. kccc5 August 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm #

    I really enjoy your writing…you make me giggle…see I did it again 🙂

  3. Just Some Dude August 5, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    maybe he doesn’t know what pleases you and he’s doing what pleased his last partner…

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