playbook pages {fake long-distance boyfriend, part 1}

28 Jul

The fake long-distance boyfriend could manifest itself in a number of possible people. Maybe an old coworker who you always got along with? An ex-boyfriend who you kind of miss and in some world still think you could marry? Someone you’ve always had a thing for but the timing never worked out?

Despite who the person is, the symptoms are usually the same: you guys talk on the phone for hours at a time about everything under the sun; you text each other throughout the day; you send each other dumb emails; you miss them on the days you don’t speak; and then somewhere along the line, in the back of your head, you start to wonder if this guy is “the one,” and your life just sucks because you live far away from each other.

For me, my current fake long-distance boyfriend is sort of an ex and sort of a crush who I’ve always had bad timing with. Hottie fireman and I have a history that started long before he was a hottie fireman; in fact, in the beginning, he was the dorky, gangly pitcher on the summer ball team–I was the statistician. More on that later…

Yes. This is ACTUALLY him.

But for now, we are in the perfect place where we talk every couple of days, text or email almost everyday, talk about anything under the sun and laugh for hours. For me, someone who is happily playing the field in New York City, the situation is kind of perfect. I can date people without feeling badly and still have someone to talk to when I need emotion support from someone who actually knows me. For him, a guy who just got out of a relationship and works crappy 24-hour shifts at the highest of high-stress jobs, he gets someone to worry about him, someone to vent to, and someone for emotional support.

Naturally, especially with our history, I am to the point where I think he’s “the one,” and that I’m in love with him. Normally, in this kind of situation,  I’d be OK with having these feelings… part of the territory as it were.

But hottie fireman is coming to visit in a week and a half and I’m slightly terrified. I’m terrified that he’ll get here and I’ll realize it’s just the usual long-distance illusion that’s making me think I love him. But I’m also terrified that he’ll get here and I’ll realize that I really DO feel that way. This is not the first time we’ve played this long distance game (see part 2), but this is the first time we’ve been this “grown-up,” the first time we’ve already “learned from some mistakes,” the first time we’re reuniting before we’ve gotten to the obsessive fighting point.

It’s also the first time we’ve seen each other in 3 years.

More to come as the countdown to his arrival continues…! (UGH terrified!)

 

 

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