Playbook pages {out-of-town friend}

23 Jul

Expectations with the out-of-town friend can be tricky…

As my roommate put it, if a guy is coming into town and he is staying with you, it’s pretty much implied between both parties that you are going to 1) sleep in the same bed at some point and 2) probably hook-up in some capacity.

For these exact reasons I am VERY excited for my friend (who shall be known as hottie fireman) to come stay with me for five days in August. As I told hottie fireman in a text, this trip will be for “getting drunk and making decisions.” Please note I did not include the word “bad” (because really, how bad could the situation be if I’m in it with a hottie fireman??).

What can be even more tricky though is when the out-of-town friend is NOT staying with you.

Now, you may assume, as I did last weekend, that this means the ball is in your court… that things will be easier. Well, if he’s staying at the hotel, I don’t have to clean my room. If he’s staying at the hotel, then I’ll just meet him at the bar and see how I’m feeling. No pressure! This is the mentality I had going into that weekend. And I was excited for him to come to town. I was even excited to meet him and his friends at the bar. Unfortunately when we left the bar and he pulled the, “I don’t know where I’m going to sleep tonight,” I was less than enthused.

me: Why don’t you sleep at your hotel… with x and y?
him: There’s only one bed!
me: Weren’t you the one who booked the hotel?
him: Yeah…
(Awkward silences all around) End Scene.

Clearly, the ball was not in my court. If anything it was stolen away in what I can only deem as a personal foul. The main issue was that I had already drunkenly made-out with him in the bar and made the decision to go back to the hotel room to cuddle (in the awkward safety net of the shared hotel room with his friends).  But, four people in one bed does not make for successful drunk cuddling. I could’ve still just sent him back to his hotel and his shared bed (he made his bed (or in this case, booked it), so he might as well lie in it) but there was the added awkwardness that this was his BIRTHDAY trip.

UGH. He’s left me no choice.
me: Well, I guess you can stay at my place… but I need food.
Whenever I’m forced into doing something that isn’t my idea, I always make someone buy me food. A full-stomach helps soothe the sting.

The food didn’t help. I became even more annoyed when he kept drunkenly asking me if we were going to “smoosh” (hate that term), and even more annoyed when he kept singing some made-up song where the only line was, “I want to get into you.”

By the time we made it home, I was so annoyed that I hooked up with him just to shut him up. It was his birthday, after all, but that doesn’t really make up for the fact that it was bad. The night overall? Epic Fail.

So, my only advice is this: only agree to see out-of-town friends if you want to sleep with them. Or maybe it’s to always ask for a copy of their hotel confirmation. Either way, learn from my mistake… because really, birthday weekend or not, that shit wasn’t cool.


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