this morning {shame shielders}

18 Jul

PartyGirl Rule #2: ALWAYS carry sunglasses. You never know where you’ll end up in the morning, but God knows it will be bright (you know, with all that sunshine and shame shining down on you.

PartyGirl Rule #1 is, of course, go big or go home. Maybe that’s why I never wake up at home… because I ALWAYS go big.

Omg. I got paid last night. Yesssss. I can finally afford cigarettes again.
Can I get the American Spirit Menthols? 
(facing look of confusion) The green ones.
Why do they always have a non-smoker working the cigarette counter?
Why yes, genuinely good-natured Duane Reade worker, you’re right. I really should stop smoking.
Not today though.

Sorry I smell like I was literally rolled INTO a cigarette. It’s been a long morning already.
Oh, what’s that, sweet, adorable eyebrow threader?You’re allergic to cigarette smoke?  I’m so sorry. Thank you for being so kind while you’re coughing up your lungs.
I think I need to put my sunglasses back on.
No, no… I love my eyebrows! It just seems to be really bright in here all of the sudden… with all that shame streaming in from the windows.

What’s that regular Starbucks worker? Oh, yes, I usually am going to work when I come in. But no, not today. Just a little walk of shame ridiculously close to my place of work.
Hahahahahahaha
(nervous laughter)
Yeah, yeah… no, the light in here is fine. I just need to put my sunglasses on.
The shame seems to be coming out of the display case now.

So much for doing errands. This PartyGirl should’ve just broken rule number one and GONE HOME.


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